Nothing major, but I was a crying mess. He had a simple ear tube surgery, because of how many ear infections he has had in the past few months. The doctor came back from the O.R. and said that the fluid buildup was so bad on both sides, Trey would need ten days of ear drops, instead of the usual five. So he could hear, but not that well. It was affecting his speech as well, and it was definitely affecting his balance. I was a mess because I couldn't be there with him. They took him away before giving him the anesthetic, and brought him back half an hour later, once everything was over and he was awake.
During that time, I was sad and worried. Not because I thought something would go wrong (I know God was looking over him and he would keep him safe and sound. I knew the surgeon's hands would be guided and Trey would be fine), but because I knew Trey would be scared and be around people he didn't know. I wanted to be there for him so badly, and I couldn't. When he was brought back, he was crying so bad, and I just held him and held him. He was probably also confused because of the anesthesia.
Today was a big lesson for me, in that I really and truly felt what it was like to have to let go and know that my boy would be all by himself and I couldn't jump in to comfort him. He will have more times like that in his life, and although I know it won't hurt any less for me to watch him go through obstacles and pain, I will have to step aside and be there to support him in the best way I can.
He's sleeping now, and hopefully will be ready to eat and play and go back to his old lovable, adventurous, silly, handsome self in no time.
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| My baby love |
