Birth Story, part II

As the baby was being checked and handed over to Steve and my mom, the doctor started working on me. At this point, I didn't realize how serious the situation was. But it was pretty bad. I had gotten a third-degree tear. I won't explain how bad it is, but you can look it up. The reason for the tear was that instead of his head coming out straight and then turning so his shoulders could come through, his head came out sideways.

Anyway, the doctor was ready to start stitching me up. But I had started to hemorrhage. The nurses had to get a surgeon on standby so that he would be ready to work on me if need be. They also had to get some blood ready for a transfusion, since I was bleeding so much. It was a serious situation. My mom told me later that they had a big plastic bag under the table to catch all the blood, and there was a good amount of blood in there. Every single cotton pack the doctor used on me was immediately soaked. He had to limit how much local anesthetic he needed to give me, and he had to inject it directly into the area. I definitely felt those shots! And because he had to limit the amount of anesthetic, I felt every single stitch. He worked on me for about half an hour. I cried the entire time. I wasn't able to hold my baby during this time. I did feel bad for the doctor, since he kept apologizing to me. In the middle of my tears, I would say, "It's okay. I understand." I can honestly say that the sewing up part hurt more than the labor and delivery. Once the doctor was finished, I was finally able to hold my son. As soon as he was in my arms, I started to cry again.

We stayed in the hospital until Sunday morning. During that hospital stay and for about a week afterwards, I needed help walking. As in I had to hold on to someone in order to shuffle to the bathroom and back to bed. I could only feed my son, and that was because he was handed to me. Everything else was left for Steve and my mom to do. Two weeks after that, I went to the doctor and was told everything was healing perfectly. And it was, although I was still sore. Until a week after that when I tore again. It was a small tear, but a tear nonetheless. And today, five weeks and a day after giving birth, this tear still has not healed. I am still in pain, and it hurts to sit or stand for long periods of time (more than about half an hour). I've written about how frustrating it has been, and there's nothing more that can be done. I've already been to the doctor about this new tear, and they said it would heal on its own and to continue taking care of it. But I'm getting better by the day, as far as soreness goes. I'm able to hold and walk with my son. I can change his diaper. And I'm happy about that. I don't have any hard feelings about the experience, since I came out of it with the best prize of all :)

My sneaky little guy.
Totally worth it <3