Comeback

This is kind of like a comeback for me, since I have been away for so long. So much has been going on!

We moved into a new place, I got a job, Trey's growing and growing, and we are just having an excellent time. My husband and I got saved on his birthday, and it has been amazing. I have been struggling with my faith for a long time, and I finally feel complete. It's a good feeling!

I have a part-time job at a daycare. The best part about it is that Trey can come with me, and he's right in a room next to mine, so I can check in on him any time. I am glad I was able to stay at home with him 24/7 for eight months, and he's doing very well at the daycare.

Steve and I are planning on going to grad school in a couple of months, and we are just getting all of our documents in order. Hopefully we can start soon!

I am in love with my baby and my husband, and I have the most amazing life.

Break Time

Lots of stuff going on, no internet at home, so will update when I have more time and am able. Sorry!

Changes

 So a few weeks ago, I wrote about starting work as a substitute teacher. I was going to work three times a week, and leave Trey with a babysitter. My mother-in-law has been very understanding as far as knowing that I wasn't really ready to leave my boy to work, even if it was three times a week. She has been so amazing with so many other things, but this work thing is what I want to focus on today. She talked to someone else here at the local Y, to see if there were any positions available as far as child care--so that I could work and bring Trey to work with me.
 As it turned out, there was actually a part-time position open. AND, I could bring my baby! I filled out the application, went in for an interview last week, and found out on Friday that I got the job! I'll be making the same amount per week as I would substitute teaching. I can bring the baby with me and he'll be watched while I do my job. And we got a deal on the day care cost, since he'll only be there during the time I'm there. Once I get the hang of everything and get into a routine, it won't be out of the question for me to go in and substitute teach every once in a while. Things are starting to work out, and I am so thankful!

One Week

It has been a while, hasn't it?
Since we've been back, my little one has been growing some more and being amazing, like always ;)
He started clapping on Saturday, and he does it all the time now. You can start singing, clapping, or smiling, and he'll start clapping. We cheer for him, which makes him do it more. He also got a present last night.

I'll be substitute teaching a few days a week when the fall semester starts, so that should be interesting. After not having a paying job for the past seven months, it'll be a change going to work. But we'll see how that goes. Here are more pics of my little love!

My little handsome

He's always trying to grab everything!

On the swing by himself for the first time

Such a messy eater!

And again on a smaller swing

He definitely keeps me on my toes, and I'm loving every minute of it.

Six Months and a Trip

We are back in Ohio, after having spent a wonderful three weeks in LA with my parents and brothers. They loved seeing Trey, and he loved seeing them. It was a successful trip, and I can't wait to go back!

Trey did a great job on the plane, both there and back. On our flight there, we had an empty seat next to us, so it was nice having a little extra space. We were sitting in the back with a bunch of other families with young kids and babies, and Trey was one of the few who didn't cry at all! The lady sitting in our row was very impressed. Of course, it would have been perfect if my little guy didn't have a little accident twenty minutes before we landed! Changing a diaper in a teeny airplane bathroom is on my list of things I hope I never have to do again (fat chance!). Our flight back was a red-eye. We left at 10:30 p.m. and arrived at 6 a.m.  He fell asleep right when we took off, and woke up right when we landed. I was so happy. I had been nervous that he would fuss and cry during the flight. There were two guys in their mid-twenties sitting next to us, and I knew they weren't happy about sitting next to a baby. Of course once we arrived, they were saying how theyoriginally didn't want to sit near us but the baby surprised them. One even asked if I had drugged him! I said, "Nope, he's just an awesome baby!"

At the airport, waiting to board

Trey turned six months old this past Friday. It's unbelievable to me how much he has grown! He can do so much now, and he learns more and more each day. A couple of days ago, we had a visit from one of Steve's friends. She just had her baby a month ago, and he is so tiny compared to Trey! And if I remember correctly, he's nine pounds. That's three more than my baby was when he was born. So Trey was even tinier than I remember. I held up one of his newborn-sized onesies next to him, and the bottoms of the feet reached his knees. Obviously, since he's seven inches longer (taller?) than he was when he was born. And those newborn sizes were a bit big on him then!

When I look at him now, I get really excited and look forward to when he is older. He has such a great dad, who he already loves more than anything. Anytime Steve comes into the room, Trey squeals and giggles and gets really excited. He doesn't do that for anyone else. Sure, he'll get happy and smile, but he reserves the extreme excitement for his daddy. And at the risk of sounding really cheesy, that really and truly warms my heart, to see my son love his dad so much already.

I am having the time of my life, and even with some hiccups along the way, I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. I love my little family.

Travel Time

We are visiting family in LA for the next three weeks. Just me and the baby, because my wonderful husband has to work (wah!). The baby did a great job on the flight here, and I'm hoping he does just as well on the way back. I definitely didn't want him to be "that baby" on the plane! I'll update soon.

Rolling

This boy is too funny. He just didn't want to stop rolling! I can't believe he'll be five months old in a week.

I'm really excited because in two weeks, we'll be headed back home to L.A. to see my parents. They're looking forward to our visit, and I'm positive it'll be a lot of fun.

Four Months

My baby is four months old!

Time really does fly. He's so big and heavy, and getting bigger and heavier by the day. He is a sweetheart, and I am more in love with him each day. What I really wanted to write about was my husband, though.

He is working so that I can stay home with the little guy. I want to stay home with him because I don't want to take him to a daycare where he can't speak for himself. My husband agrees with that. But that also means that we don't have an extra paycheck coming into our home. For my husband to be okay with that and take on my own bills means a lot to me. Not only does he work all day, but he comes home and spends time with our boy to give me a break. His job is emotionally and mentally draining, and he still makes a huge effort to help ME out. I know, I know, he needs as much time as possible with his son. And I know I need a break. Lord knows I do. But he could easily just come home and go to bed, because he wakes up so early. I am blessed to have a partner who recognizes the work I put in, and who provides for us so that I can stay home with my baby. He does so much for our family, and I am so happy and grateful to have him in my life. He means the world to me, and I couldn't imagine my life any differently. I love my family!

I love my boys!

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!

So far, being a mom is great. My little guy is growing and growing, and I love him so much. He's so funny, and he has such a strong personality already. I feel like I can see what he's going to be like when he's older. For example, I know he's going to be getting into everything when he starts crawling and walking, just because of how curious he is. Once he wakes up in the morning, he doesn't like to stay on his back. He wants to sit up so he can look around. But once he gets tired of sitting up, he wants to "stand" up. Of course, he can't stand on his own yet, so someone has to hold him in a standing position. But when he gets tired of that, he has to be held while the holder is standing up. Don't try to sit down! He knows the difference and will let you know. During all of this, he is looking around at everything.

He's also smiling and laughing a lot. It's so cute when he laughs! We love doing silly things just to make him laugh, even when we look ridiculous doing so. He will smile at anyone who smiles at him, and he's generally a happy baby. Like any other baby, he'll only really start getting grumpy and crying when he's hungry or really tired and needs a nap.

I'm so happy to be his mom!

My boy <3

Getting Back in It

I've finally started walking a bit, which has shown me how out of shape I am. That's not surprising, since I haven't done any exercise for about a year now. I put the baby in his carrier and I've walked (more like strolled) down the block and back. I've done that three times now, and it's getting easier each time, although I get tired and sore quickly. This is not one of those things I'm going to rush, since it's not really a healthy thing for a breastfeeding person to exercise and try to lose weight so quickly. All the extra calories and nutrients need to go to the baby, not towards burning fat. No marathons being run here! It seems obvious that if it took nine months of slow and careful weight gain, it should take some time to take the weight off.

 My priority is my son, not trying to look like I never had a kid (at least not yet!). Of course, I want to look good overall, but not at the expense of my baby's nutrient intake. If I were formula feeding, it might be a different story, since he would be getting his vitamins from formula. But I don't want to formula feed. So yeah. The plan right now is to steadily increase the length of my walks, get some more endurance, and try to get my strength back. I'll continue to walk until he's about six months old, and then I'll start running and doing some weight training. I feel like this plan will work to help me keep weight off in the long run, since I'm not crash dieting and going exercise-crazy right now. I feel bad for celebrities who get photographed going to the gym two weeks post-partum. It's like they have to, just so they won't be criticized for not losing the baby weight fast enough.

Baby's crying, so I gotta go.

Settled

So we've been in Ohio for a week now. Everything is going really well. My mother-in-law is awesome, and we are happy to finally be done with all the driving. I know the baby is glad to be out of that car seat as well. Not much is going on, other than getting into a good routine with the baby, as far as his sleeping and eating schedules. Moving time zones is hard on a little guy! But he's adjusting, as are we. There really isn't much to blog about at this point, since we've been staying home and just making sure to focus on the baby right now. I started a new little business venture with a coffee company called Organo Gold. If it goes well, I won't have to go back to work at all. So I'm crossing my fingers that the work I put into this pays off. The baby is getting baptized next weekend--on Easter! So that's pretty exciting. Other than that, everything is good and we are enjoying the time we are spending with our son.

Settling In

We just took a road trip from California to Kansas City, and from Kansas City to Ohio. We are tired, but we are all doing well. I'll update soon.

Birth Story, part II

As the baby was being checked and handed over to Steve and my mom, the doctor started working on me. At this point, I didn't realize how serious the situation was. But it was pretty bad. I had gotten a third-degree tear. I won't explain how bad it is, but you can look it up. The reason for the tear was that instead of his head coming out straight and then turning so his shoulders could come through, his head came out sideways.

Anyway, the doctor was ready to start stitching me up. But I had started to hemorrhage. The nurses had to get a surgeon on standby so that he would be ready to work on me if need be. They also had to get some blood ready for a transfusion, since I was bleeding so much. It was a serious situation. My mom told me later that they had a big plastic bag under the table to catch all the blood, and there was a good amount of blood in there. Every single cotton pack the doctor used on me was immediately soaked. He had to limit how much local anesthetic he needed to give me, and he had to inject it directly into the area. I definitely felt those shots! And because he had to limit the amount of anesthetic, I felt every single stitch. He worked on me for about half an hour. I cried the entire time. I wasn't able to hold my baby during this time. I did feel bad for the doctor, since he kept apologizing to me. In the middle of my tears, I would say, "It's okay. I understand." I can honestly say that the sewing up part hurt more than the labor and delivery. Once the doctor was finished, I was finally able to hold my son. As soon as he was in my arms, I started to cry again.

We stayed in the hospital until Sunday morning. During that hospital stay and for about a week afterwards, I needed help walking. As in I had to hold on to someone in order to shuffle to the bathroom and back to bed. I could only feed my son, and that was because he was handed to me. Everything else was left for Steve and my mom to do. Two weeks after that, I went to the doctor and was told everything was healing perfectly. And it was, although I was still sore. Until a week after that when I tore again. It was a small tear, but a tear nonetheless. And today, five weeks and a day after giving birth, this tear still has not healed. I am still in pain, and it hurts to sit or stand for long periods of time (more than about half an hour). I've written about how frustrating it has been, and there's nothing more that can be done. I've already been to the doctor about this new tear, and they said it would heal on its own and to continue taking care of it. But I'm getting better by the day, as far as soreness goes. I'm able to hold and walk with my son. I can change his diaper. And I'm happy about that. I don't have any hard feelings about the experience, since I came out of it with the best prize of all :)

My sneaky little guy.
Totally worth it <3

Birth Story, Part I

Finally able to write about the events which brought my little sweetie pie into this world, at 40 weeks and three days.

On Thursday morning (Jan 26), I woke up at 9 and thought my water had broken. It wasn't a gush or a lot of liquid. It was just a wet feeling. Steve was going to the gym that morning, and because I wasn't feeling contractions, I thought I would just wait until later to go to the hospital. At around noon, we had carne asada, and I made sure to eat up just in case my water really had broken and I would need to stay at the hospital. From what I had previously read, you're not allowed to eat anything once you're at the hospital. So I wanted to make sure I would have something just in case. After we ate, Steve and I headed over to the hospital. Since I had pre-registered, I just told them I thought my water had broken and I was soon called into the triage room.

A nurse checked me and said she didn't think my water had broken, but she would send a sample of the fluid I did have (which at this point I started to think was just discharge) to be tested. In the meantime, they would hook up the non-stress test to make sure the baby was okay. So Steve and I waited. And waited. And waited. A couple of hours later, a new nurse came in with several tubes for blood and some other supplies. We were like, "What's going on?" She said, "They didn't tell you? You're having a baby today!" Steve and I looked at each other in equal parts confusion, happiness, and nervousness. No one had come back to let us know, so it was a moment of realization that yes, it was time. We would be having our baby. I called my parents and let them know what was happening, and that we would let them know when I was moved into my room.

The nurse drew my blood and hooked me up to an IV. I was a bit disappointed when she did this, because I knew that I wouldn't be having the all-natural birth experience I wanted and prepared for. If we had stayed in Korea, I would have been able to walk around and not be hooked up to any machines. Since I had come back to the States at the last minute, I didn't have time to find a birthing center with the amenities I wanted.

After a long time, I was finally moved to my room.My mom showed up and was able to be there with us. At this point, it was about 4 or 5 pm. We hung out and everyone had dinner--except for me! I was right about not being allowed to eat. I wasn't even allowed to drink anything. All I could have were ice chips. Finally, they checked me again and saw that I still hadn't dilated. At around midnight, they inserted a capsule to help me dilate. Soon after that, I began to have very strong, irregular contractions. At 3 a.m., a nurse came in because she saw that my contractions were too strong and too close together, which was distressing the baby. And I still wasn't dilating. So she gave me demerol to help with the pain. After I got the pain relief, I was able to sleep for a little while. But at around 5 a.m., they realized that I was having contractions but I wasn't feeling them at all. So they gave me pitocin.

At around 8 a.m., I was just about ready to go. I was in so much pain, I asked the nurse for an epidural. This was something I knew I might ask for. She told me that she needed to get everything ready for the baby when he came, as far as warming up his table and getting the tools ready for the doctor. What I didn't know was that I was already fully dilated and she was telling me this so that I would wait a little longer--just long enough for me to start pushing and the doctor to get there, apparently. I tried to wait an appropriate amount of time, but I think I asked her twice more. She told me she was almost ready, but at this point, I was more than ready to push. No epidural for me!

I knew I should have waited, but I called out, "I have to push!" and pushed. The nurse told me to try to wait, but I said it again and again. Each time, I pushed. She came over and realized that I really was ready. So she  started to coach me through it. She wanted me to push through to a count of ten, but in the beginning, I could only make it to about four. On the bright side, it felt really good to push. I kept pushing, and increasing my endurance to a count of ten. The nurse, my mom, and Steve were all coaching me through it. Finally, the doctor showed up, just in time to guide the baby out. I remember seeing the cord around his neck, but they removed it and he cried immediately. They put him on my chest, but took him away really fast.

Everything happened so fast, it didn't register that they took him away so quickly for a reason. He was fine, but the problem was with me.

Part II coming soon.

Frustrations Upon Frustrations

I'm STILL healing. It's so frustrating! And when things seem to start getting better, I go back to square one. I tore a stitch, and because it's a "dirty" wound, it can't be sewn up again. So I have to wait for it to heal on its own. Then I seem to have an infection again. It has been almost five weeks! It's so hard for me to just sit lay around and wait. But it's what I have to do in order to heal fully. So I'm just really really frustrated.

So In Love

I am in love with this baby. I am in love with my husband. I am in love with my family :)


I'm reposting a note I wrote on Facebook about my husband, because he has been so incredibly supportive and helpful during this time.

I normally don't put such personal stuff here on Facebook (that's reserved for my blog, lol), but I want as many people as possible to know how special my husband is.

My water broke on Thursday morning, and we went to the hospital later that afternoon. After laboring for hours, our son was born on Friday morning. Labor was incredibly difficult, and the birth itself was gruesome, to say the least. The baby's head came out sideways, and tore me up badly enough to where a surgeon was called to be on standby and I was very close to needing a blood transfusion. The doctor spent over half an hour sewing me back up. Everything happened so fast, I wasn't able to have any big pain medication (as far as an epidural or anything), just a local anesthetic to be stitched back up. I don't say this for any sort of sympathy, it's just how things went and it brings me to the reason for writing this.

After everything happened, I was unable to move around at all. We were discharged from the hospital yesterday afternoon, and as of today, I am still on a sort of modified bedrest. I haven't been able to get up to change my baby. I haven't been able to sit up to hold my baby for long periods of time. I shuffle to the bathroom and back, and it takes a solid minute or two to get in and out of bed. Whenever the baby cries, I can't jump up to get to him. Everything is slowly getting better, but it's taking a lot of time.

My husband, Steve, has been doing all of these things for the baby. Not only that, but he has been taking care of me as well. He has been the one to change the diapers in the middle of the night. He has been the one to jump out of bed at a moment's notice to get the baby. He has brought the baby over for me to feed him, and stood by to make sure we were both okay. He has held me as I have shuffled to the bathroom and back. He has held me as I struggle to get in and out of bed.

He has done all of this with absolutely no complaints. He is incredibly sleep-deprived and tired and stressed, but all he has shown to me and our son is love and patience and compassion. We are blessed to have our son, but my son and I are blessed to have Steve in our lives.

This is one of the hundreds of reasons why I love this man so much, and why I felt the need to make a small piece of our personal lives so public.

My mother has been another person who has done so much for not just me and the baby, but for my husband as well. She has cooked us meals, helped with advice (reading as much as I could about newborns hasn't been as much help as my mother's experience!), and just been there for us. She has shown us such love, there is no way we can repay her. I know having the baby around is enough for her, but it is really overwhelming how much I love her and how grateful I am for her help during this time.

The baby is three weeks and three days old today. He is amazing, and I couldn't be happier with him. He has gone through a tough little time, though, but I know that there will be bad times with the good. This past week, he has had a little bit of a cold. He was badly congested for a couple of days, and then he got a bad cough and sneeze for another two days. We couldn't give him medicine because of his age, so we had to let him ride it out. It was so hard to watch him struggle to breathe and cry because of it, I ended up crying with him because it hurt me to watch him in pain. Since Saturday, he has been constipated as well. So he has been crying and struggling to use the bathroom since then. The doctor said it was fine for babies to go a few days without having a bowel movement, as long as they were urinating frequently. So we have to just let him ride that out as well. 

As far as myself, I am still healing, unfortunately. I went to the doctor a few days ago, and was told everything was going well. So that was good. But I still can't get around like I would like. I would say I am at about 70% as far as mobility and no pain goes. It gets really frustrating, because I have never been unable to move around for this long. Over the weekend, I got most of the symptoms for mastitis. So that knocked me down a few more notches. Being in constant pain and being unable to do everything I'd like to do is really hard for me, and I'm trying to take it one day at a time. I've come a long way from the first week, and I am finally able to change the baby and walk with him a bit. But it's still hard to stand for long periods of time (as in more than 10 minutes at a time), and it takes me a minute to get out of bed. Just little things. But I am definitely getting better, so I'm thankful for that.

I will definitely write my birth story in a few days, when I have a bit more time. We are still feeding the baby every two hours, and I'm usually doing stuff during the breaks when he naps (napping, laundry, eating, etc.).

He's Here!

Will update when I am able.

Home

It's hard to update often when I've just been sitting at home and resting all day. I've been either reclining back against pillows in bed, or laying down. I've gone out to Target and to the supermarket a few times in the past couple of weeks, but I've only been out for maybe an hour at a time. Walking makes my lower back hurt pretty bad, so I limit my walking.
I am really excited about my husband finally coming home, though. He flies in tomorrow afternoon, so I'm just trying to get through today. I just wish it was tomorrow already! Really excited to have him around. I miss him so much, and I'm glad we have only been apart for a little over two weeks, rather than months or years.
The baby has been really active, like usual. I don't feel any different for my due date only being nine days away.  I am looking forward to meeting my son, but it doesn't seem like he's in any sort of hurry to come out. Which is fine, especially since I've been blessed enough to not have any problems during this pregnancy. Everything has been perfect so far, and I hope it stays that way. I may be one of the few pregnant woman who doesn't mind being pregnant so far into the pregnancy! So far, the only hardships I've had have been with walking. I walk slowly, and I can't walk for long. It has been harder to get up out of bed, since I have to prop myself up and kind of roll out of it.
Since nothing special has been happening (aside from my surprise baby shower last weekend, which I'll write about soon!), my posts will not be frequent, probably not until after the baby is born.

Baby Shower

Yesterday, I had a "surprise" baby shower. I found out about it a few days ago, so it wasn't much of a surprise. But what WAS a surprise was the number of people who came and how generous they were. I had such a good time, the food was great, and it was more than anything I could have asked for or imagined.

The diaper cake.

One of the games. They had to feed each other baby food.

They had to guess the size of my belly using tp.

Me and the cake!

I am so happy with how everything turned out!

16 days to go, and I'm feeling good. Hoping everything stays as it is, as far as comfort level.

Jet Lag

I'm safely back in America, and it has been incredibly nice to finally get a chance to relax and not worry about going to work. The sucky part is the whole jet lag thing. Usually, I jump right back into things as far as timing goes. I'll normally be able to go to bed and wake up at a decent time.

Not so this time around! Every single night so far, I have been able to stay up till about 6pm and then I'll wake up at around 10 or 11 pm. Then I'll stay up all night and not go back to bed until about 6pm the next evening. It's kind of ridiculous by now. I mean, it has been nearly a week! I should be on a good sleep schedule! But, I'm trying to look at the bright side of things. Since I'm so close to my due date, I figure this is good practice for when the baby comes. Might as well get used to less sleep, right?

The only frustrating part of it all is just the fact that because everyone else is asleep, I just stay in my room and watch TV all night. Not terrible, just a bit frustrating.

But I'm really tired now, and I just wanted to post a quick update. I'm home safely, I miss my husband, the baby is holding on (hoping he doesn't come early), and everything is good.